these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
