My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
