This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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