I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
