got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
