covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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