oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize