My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
