no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed