do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way