Midget sex pt 2 tonight
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?