we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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