so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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