I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
