I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
