I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
