remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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