I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
