I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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