Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize