the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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