I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
