their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw a hot homeless man
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I understand Curling. That high.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
