I murdered the dance floor call the cops
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need to calm my uterus...
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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