Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
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Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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