Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
