we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
