I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize