I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize