I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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