Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

He has such a weird drunk-voice.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

dude, he's deaf.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building

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(631): View more from New York

You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck

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(661): View more from California

All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.

(310): View more from California

I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.

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