it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
