Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.