can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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