I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
