You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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