You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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