Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize