You just made me feel so damn special
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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