@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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