so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
