We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
