there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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