You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
