I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
