I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
