Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
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When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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