So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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