He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
