He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
