I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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