My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
