Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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