OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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