Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
