im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I want her autograph on my taint
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
