well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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