I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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