Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
