Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
