Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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