he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Four minutes until I can fart!
you win again, gameday.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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