as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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