On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
