I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
